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The Rockpile – 12-2-2015

We’ll get back to full league action this week as we kiss deer hunting and Thanksgiving goodbye. It was a nice break.

Jason Maes captured 1st place in our annual Buck Board contest. Maes bagged a beautiful 14 point buck with a 21 inch spread. Mike McNamara took 2nd place with a 9 point buck sporting a 23-inch spread. Thanks to all participants.

Green Bay better step it up a notch or two or they won’t have to worry about “PLAYOFFS”.

Just a reminder to all in-house bowlers. I have the Christmas Team Tournament all ready to go. All you need to do is sign up for your favorite day and time. We’ll run the Tournament from Dec. 21 through Jan. 2nd. We had 24 teams participate last year (these are just 5-person teams).

Back When

• 1961 Song of the Day: “Big Bad John” – Jimmy Dean

• 1968 Song of the Day: “Stand By Your Man” – Tammy Wynette

• 1976 Song of the Day: “Good Woman Blues” – Mel Tillis

• 1990 Song of the Day: “Come Next Monday” – K.T. Oslin


• 1826 – John Walker invented the friction match (strike anywhere).

• 1889 – Curtis P. Brady was issued the permit to drive an automobile through New York City’s Central Park. Brady had to pledge to New York’s police that he would not scare the horses.

• 1924 – Macy’s department store held its first Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City.

• 1936 – In Iowa, in a double wedding, a father and son married sisters, making the son his father’s and and stepmother’s brother-in-law. The father’s wife became both her sister’s mother-in-law and sister-in-law. The son’s wife became his stepmother’s sister, sister-in-law, and daughter-in-law. We’re not even going to think about the children.

• 1981 – Actress Natalie Wood drowned in a boating accident in California. She was 43.

Black and White (Under age 40? You won’t understand.)

• You could hardly see for all the snow, spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.

• ‘Good Night, David.    Good Night, Chet.’

• My mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn’t seem to get food poisoning.

• My mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter and I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but I can’t remember getting E. coli.

• Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

• The term ‘cell phone’ would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

• We all took gym, not PE… And risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked’s (only worn in the gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built-in light reflectors.  I can’t recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

• Flunking gym was not an option… Even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

• Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

• We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

• I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

• I just can’t recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

• Oh yeah… And where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

• We played ‘king of the hill’ on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn’t sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked. Now it’s a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

• We didn’t act up at the neighbor’s house either; because if we did we got our butt spanked there and then we got our butt spanked again when we got home.

• I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

• To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?  We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes.  We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn’t even notice that the entire country wasn’t taking Prozac!

How did we ever survive?

Italian Divorce Case

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court in Italy; but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked to hear his side of the story.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied: “Your Honor, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a candy bar comes out, does the candy bar belong to me or to the machine?”


Religious Rockpile Readers of the Week
Lonnie Maves of Menomonie, Wis.

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Leaker’s Place
P.O. Box 213
Glenwood City, WI 54013
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