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Last Tuesday morning I went to the post office to collect my mail and in the box there were 13 pieces of mail. All 13 were junk mail. I define junk mail as unordered mail such as advertising flyers, mail-seeking donations for some cause, or just mail you did not want or need.
I usually throw most of the junk mail into the circular file and move on. But because those 13 pieces of junk, constituted the entire mail for Tuesday, I thought I would share with you the contents of those 13 pieces and the amount of money it would cost me to respond. Some of the requests are organizations that I have donated to before.
First—A 24-page flyer from Instaflex trying to sell their astounding joint health supplement. Cost, $39.99 for a 30-day supply.
Second—Feeding America, my Thanksgiving Gift for families in need. Business Reply envelope enclosed, gift starting at $20.00
Next—From the Hamilton Collection a sales sheet to purchase a 1:18 inch scale model of a Ford Model A Die Cast Coupe. This is a very nice model, but at $171.95 it’s not for me.
Fourth—Leukemia and Lymphoma Society out of Washington D.C. is having their 2021 annual Wisconsin fund drive. It might be worth the fifteen-dollar donation, but their office is out east.
Fifth—The Bradford Exchange—The Visions of Beauty is their Magnifying glass pendant set. Can’t you just see me wearing the magnifying glass around my neck? But, not at $99.97.
Sixth—NRA—Institute for Legislative Action. I am a member of the NRA, and have donated before, even with them sending a free knife, with as little as a $28.00 donation, but I am going to pass.
Seventh—The USO and who can turn their back on that group, so let’s send them $20.00.
Next—A campaign letter from Tim Scott, the United States Senator from South Carolina. In his 4-page letter, he states, “I’ll never give up the battle to defend the America that gave a poor black kid raised by a single mother in South Carolina the opportunity to become a Senator.” Sorry, but the politicians in this part of the country need my help, saved somewhere between $50.00 and $2,900.
Ninth—From the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement in Garrison, NY, Comes a request for a small donation. For fifteen bucks Father Bob will light a votive candle for me.
Tenth—A statement for 2021 membership in The Humane Society of the United States. Memberships start at only $8.00 and if you send in more than $15.00 you get a free gift.
Eleventh—Susan G. Komen for their fight against breast cancer. Cancer touches every family, as it has mine. A check will be on the way for $50.00
Next—Kids Wish Network for their Glenwood City Area Kids Wish Appeal. This letter came out of Palm Harbor, FL and I never heard of them. Put into the wastebasket. Saved $20.00
The last one came in a bright yellow 9 x 12 envelope with my correct address and typed on the outside stated: “Private Documents Enclosed” This came from the Heritage Action for America. I have read and used some of their literature before and in it was enclosed three letters to be sent. One to the President, another to Senator Chuck Schumer, Senate Majority Leader and the last to the Wicked Witch of the West, Speaker Pelosi. For a $25.00 donation they will send on these three. I just will do that because the letter suggests to these three that the only way for you to truly make life better for American citizens is if you: “Stop illegal immigration; open the Keystone XL Pipeline and maintain our energy independence; Reform the Big Tech monopolies control in the public square; Stand for law and order and for the men and women in law enforcement; Support tax cuts for the middle class; Give parents control of their children’s education with school choice; Denounce radical Leftists terrorist groups like Antifa; Take care of our military and our veterans; Uphold the Constitution and Put Americans first.”
So, if I open my check book to all these thirteen and send them the total of $569.91, that would be my food bill for at least a month. And a further draw on my bank account came Wednesday, as eight more pieces of junk mail showed up.
Thanks for reading! ~Carlton