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Off The Editor’s Desk – 8-17-2016

The New Reality

I received the following item second handed, but it is so good that I decided to reprint it. I wish I knew who the author of the item is, so they can get proper recognition. The item is called:

‘THE NEW REALITY” 

It seems that lately my life has been getting more complicated, and I want to thank those of you who are brave enough to still associate with me regardless of what I have become.

The following is a recap of my current identity:

I was born a white man, which makes me a racist.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which makes me a fascist.

I am heterosexual, which makes me a homophobe.

I am a Christian, which makes me an infidel.

I am older than 65 and retired, which makes me a useless old man.

I think and I reason; therefore I doubt much that the mainstream media tells me, which makes me a reactionary.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.

I value my safety and that of my family; therefore I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wind extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which makes me anti-socialist.

I acquired a good education without student loans and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of odd underachiever.

I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland by all citizens, which makes me a militarist.

Please help me come to terms with this, because I’m not sure who I am anymore!

My newest problem – I’m not sure which bathroom I should use.

 

For a couple of the terms in the above piece, I was not sure what the meanings of the words were, so I picked up up my newest Oxford American Dictionary for their meanings. It has a 2008 date, which may indicate that it is outdated. But, here is what I found out.

• Homophobe: is a fear of homosexuality.

• Infidel: if you watch any newscast, you should know that if you are a Christian that is what you are probably called by a Muslim. The dictionary states; “a person’s religion is not that of the majority.”

• Xenophobe: fear of people from other countries.

• Fascist: a right wing system of government with nationalistic beliefs and strict obedience to a leader or state.

Thanks for reading!   ~Carlton