The New Reality
I received the following item second handed, but it is so good that I decided to reprint it. I wish I knew who the author of the item is, so they can get proper recognition. The item is called:
‘THE NEW REALITY”
It seems that lately my life has been getting more complicated, and I want to thank those of you who are brave enough to still associate with me regardless of what I have become.
The following is a recap of my current identity:
I was born a white man, which makes me a racist.
I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which makes me a fascist.
I am heterosexual, which makes me a homophobe.
I am a Christian, which makes me an infidel.
I am older than 65 and retired, which makes me a useless old man.
I think and I reason; therefore I doubt much that the mainstream media tells me, which makes me a reactionary.
I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.
I value my safety and that of my family; therefore I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wind extremist.
I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which makes me anti-socialist.
I acquired a good education without student loans and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of odd underachiever.
I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland by all citizens, which makes me a militarist.
Please help me come to terms with this, because I’m not sure who I am anymore!
My newest problem – I’m not sure which bathroom I should use.
For a couple of the terms in the above piece, I was not sure what the meanings of the words were, so I picked up up my newest Oxford American Dictionary for their meanings. It has a 2008 date, which may indicate that it is outdated. But, here is what I found out.
• Homophobe: is a fear of homosexuality.
• Infidel: if you watch any newscast, you should know that if you are a Christian that is what you are probably called by a Muslim. The dictionary states; “a person’s religion is not that of the majority.”
• Xenophobe: fear of people from other countries.
• Fascist: a right wing system of government with nationalistic beliefs and strict obedience to a leader or state.
Thanks for reading! ~Carlton